Have you ever noticed how we are inundated with various situations within our lives that have the potential to send us into a downward spiral? Frustration, fear and anger from these experiences are powerful emotions with the strength to take over our thoughts. However, you have the ability to redirect your attention. It requires being aware of your thoughts and giving yourself time to process how to handle them. Changing your attitude towards problems will encourage you to discover healthier solutions to the trials and tribulations of life.
Oscar Wilde had the right idea when he said, “Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward.”
My husband and I learned that in spades when we renovated our home in 2018. Having a teenager and child under 10, we needed more space. We decided to bite the bullet and add on a full storey so we took off our roof and went up! We also decided to co-ordinate the whole operation ourselves, which was a huge undertaking.
You can only imagine all of the planning that went into that project, right down to where we were going to live during this process. Picture living for six months in a 30-foot trailer with a dog, cat, two kids–while my spouse operated his business from the small kitchen table. Eeek! Congratulations to us, we’re still married!
We did run into a few snags along the way as we had anticipated. Some situations were more serious than others, such as having to replace the entire north and south walls of the house due to damage from previous water leakage and ants. Talk about an open concept! After the initial shock, I realized I had a choice–complain and be pessimistic or change my perspective. I looked at my husband and stated, “This is a ‘happy accident.’ He smiled and said, “I like it.” It was my way of taking a negative situation and seeking the blessing in disguise.
Looking at it that way decreased my disappointment and redirected me to find the value. You see, if we didn’t open up the house the way we did, we may have had a place that was less sturdy and potentially unsafe. Our home became structurally sound with increased longevity.
‘Happy accidents’ can be found in any given situation. My husband and I use this term interchangeably. It is a way to ‘roll with it’ and allow the good to flow in.
You may be asking, “Can this be applied to relationships?” Definitely.
Not all social networks are meant to last. In the beginning, that affiliation may spark a new direction or assist with your further advancement. The ending could signal a further shift to a place where you and that person were not meant to go. Sometimes, you will clearly see the reason for the connection or the disconnection. When this happens, natural endings are much easier to handle as you drift apart without drama or hurt. Other times, it may not be so obvious.
Not all associations end positively when that happens. The sour taste leaves a bitterness which can inhibit putting that relationship into perspective. I have heard some people say, ‘Just let it go’ but it’s not that simple. Feeling disappointed and hurt is common. I’ve been there. We’re all human, right? Emotions can run high and finding the ‘happy accident’ within the storm may take some time.
Reflection, along with rationalization, aids in being able to see the blessing and release a negative ending. Acknowledge the relationship for what it was and set it free.
When I changed my mindset and began seeing the ‘happy accidents,’ a positive shift happened within me. I no longer overreact to minor inconveniences and my mind remains more open to solutions over problems.
Albert Einstein was brilliant when he said, “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” You can either learn from it or run away from it. Which option will you choose?